Being a Hitman does have its Challenges

   I can't blame Suzanne for leaving.  But a dark part of me wants to.
   If I did, it wouldn't be enough for me to just think it--I'd have to do something about it.
   That's why I'm good at my job.  People have scary thoughts and can't follow through on them. They call me.
   Thinking and not doing is probably my biggest challenge.
   Not that I might get caught.

An Accident in my Youth

   Once when I was a child, I'd thought the world had stopped.  Everything was dark and silent.  At midnight, I prayed for a train to roll down the railway tracks, something to shake the floors and rattle the windows, something to let us know that we were not alone.  It was something that never came.  
   Not for me.  
   I was alone in the night.  
   And I would forever be alone, with only my hands as my guide, in the dark wilderness that consumed me completely.  

Tag Team

   Too many days have I gone without once having some cougar-hungry mountain man buy me a drink.

   Maybe I'm dressing too casually.  

   When I get off work I want to kick off the heels and pull back my hair.

   "Larry, can I have another martini?"

   "Sure--by the way," he added with a wink, "Banker Bill is on the market."

   Larry has always been so good to me.

#Rant

   Ranting isn't fun; it sometimes isn't healthy, but I do hate when I enjoy a good rant.  It brings the closet narcissist in me to center stage.  The one that always smiles for pictures, dances for attention, and sings for envious adoration.
   Sometimes even the words I say won't fit together perfectly, or make much sense--they just spit out snippets of bothersome information.  Too bothersome for even me. 

I had been Deceived

   When I pushed open the door with a boisterous creak, I knew what I'd see.  I just wished I were wrong.
   Clothes were strewn, blanketing the floor and hanging from the ceiling fan.
   It was the most disgusting sight I had ever seen.
   When my eyes finally reached my husband, he had a diaper in one hand and phone in the other.
   "Oh, thank God you're here," he said.

Long Time, Not Long Enough

   "Oh, yeah.   Things are great."  If I could say anything more sarcastic I would be shocked.  "What about you?"  But there's no way that I could be talking to anyone more oblivious and self-centered as Natalia.
   "Fantastique!"
   Oh, god.  French.
   Natalia fluffed her pink hair, "Just living the dream."
   I dearly wished her mountain of a ring would snag in her hair.
   Sucks seeing exes at class reunions.  

Yellow Hummer

   I was in a car crash once.
   I remember tasting blood, my heart stopping, glass shattering--the only thing I hadn't expected was the shakes.
   My heart pounded against my rib cage like the wings of a hunted turtle dove.  All the heat in my body rushed to my head, flooding it with confusion and leaving the rest of me shivering.
   It was the coldest I had ever felt, until I was standing in my living room and saw a yellow Hummer barreling straight towards me.  

Lesson for the Day: Listen and Learn

   Shelby asked, "Daddy, what does languid mean?"
   "Uhh," her father's brown eyes opened wide, "well, we should probably look it up in the dictionary."  He kicked in his recliner and walked to the bookshelf across the room.  "Where did you hear that word, honey?"
   "Mom told aunt Cheryl you've been languid ever since you said, 'I do.'  When was that, daddy?"
   "The only day I've ever outsmarted your mother."